Dear Sirs,

We don't understand the big fuss over that pilot being a hero for landing that disabled jet in the Hudson River recently.

Afterall, it's not like it hasn't been done before.

Sincerely,

John John Kennedy and John Denver

Waterlogged, Iowa

Dear Sirs,

Bailout? Did somebody say "bailout"???

Yours Truly,

Charles Manson

Pardon Me, Alcatraz

Dear Sirs,

Did you hear that one about the dutch kid sticking his finger in a **** to fill the crack and stop the water from rushing out?

Well we're here to tell you we tried it and it didn't work.

Sincerely,

Ellen DeGenerate and Portia deRossi

Lesbefriends, California