1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, and almonds.
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. GOD heals everything.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. Please Forward this to everyone you care about. I did.
Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young In a world of magnets and miracles Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary The ringing of the division bell had begun
Along the Long Road and on down the Causeway Do they still meet there by the Cut
There was a ragged band that followed our footsteps Running before time took our dreams away Leaving the myriad small creatures trying to tie us to the ground To a life consumed by slow decay
The grass was greener The light was brighter With friends surrounded The nights of wonder
Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again Dragged by force of some inner tide
At a higher altitude with flag unfurled We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world
Encumbered forever by desire and ambition There's a hunger still unsatisfied Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon Though down this road we've been so many times
The grass was greener The light was brighter The taste was sweeter The nights of wonder With friends surrounded The dawn mist growing The water flowing The endless river
I got this in an email, it was hillarious, thought you girls would get a kick out of it!
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The Home Wax Kit
My night began as any other normal weeknight.
Finish laundry, fix dinner, have a glass of wine, e-mail the grandkids.
I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours.
'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet before I go to bed' So I headed to the site of my demise 'the bathroom'.
It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax...all you do is just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or whatever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss....how hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I can follow directions and I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.
(YA THINK !?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out.
It's two strips facing each other stuck together.
Instead of rubbing them together, my genius 'kicks in' so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
(Cold wax, 'Yeah right') I Lay the strip across my thigh.
Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
IT WORKS! O.K.
, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't tooooo bad. I can do this, I say to myself with a proud smile.
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am SHE-RA, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of the smooth skin (Extraordinaire)! With my next strip I move north.
I prep for the ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretch down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).
I inhale deeply and brace myself .......RRRRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPP!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!! OH MY OH MY!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the Strip.
CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted with bright stars.
I think I may pass out...M U S T S t a y C O n S c I O U S...... M U S t- S t a y...... Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe ____ _______ ______ O.K..... Back to normal! I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.
I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.
I hold up the strip! There is NO hair on it!!! Where is the hair??? W H E R E I S T H E W A X ????? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.
I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip... IT'S NOT! I touch--- I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
I found the Hair... I found the WAX!!! Then I make the next BIG mistake....remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something.
So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut!!! My butt is sealed shut!!! SEALED SHUT !@!#*! (not even air can get in there)! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do ! and thin k to myself.
P L E A S E-- PLEASE don't let me get the urge to poop! ..... 'My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax? WHAT MELTS WAX? My brain is scrambling.
HOT WATER!!! Hot water melts wax.
I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub... Get in.
I immerse the wax covered parts and the wax should just melt and then I can gently wipe it off, right? Yeah that will work! WRONG!!! I get in the tub, the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water!!! Which, by the way........ doesn't melt cold wax!!! So - now, I am stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!! God bless my adult kids who had convinced me a few months ago to bring my cell phone everywhere, even to the bathroom!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone.
It's a very good conversation starter....'So my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub! There is a slight pause....she doesn't know any secret tricks for hair removal under water but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located.
She says are we talking cheeks or hole or ho o-ha?' She is laughing out loud by now... I can hear her!!! There is no shame in her disregard for my pain ...she is rolling over with laughter. ....I wait.
I give her the run down and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!! Right!!! I say .. I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various possible solutions.
I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor.
N O T H I N G feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in cold wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub, in scalding hot water, and then - try dry shaving the sticky wax off!!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I am pretty sure I am going to need 'Post Traumatic Stress' counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me and then I finally see my saving grace...THE BOX.. .
the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax! What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY -- OH - OH MOMMASITTA !!@*! The scream probably woke my husband and scared the dickens out of my friend.
It's soooo painful, but I really don't care.
It feels like an earthquake is forcing my flesh apart.
IT WORKS!!! It works!!! I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up laughing while trying to sound soulfully sincere.
I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair......THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now.
Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color...............
AHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! I thought this was hilarious. Hope you all enjoy it.
To: Ex-North Carolinians, present North Carolinians, and future North Carolinians or those who know a North Carolinian:
We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season, which starts June 1 and ends November 30.
Any day now, you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to some radar blob out in the Atlantic Ocean and making two basic meteorological points:
(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.
Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in North Carolina.
If you're new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by 'the big one.
'' Based on our experiences, we recommend that you follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:
STEP 1.
Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least three days.
STEP 2. Put these supplies into your car.
STEP 3. Drive to Illinois and remain there until Thanksgiving.
Unfortunately, statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan. Most people will foolishly stay here in North Carolina.
We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness items:
HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE: If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance.
Fortunately, this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets two basic requirements:
(1) It is reasonably well-built, and (2) It is located in Illinois.
Unfortunately, if your home is located in North Carolina, or any other area that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they got into the insurance business in the first place.
So you'll have to scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house.
At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.
Since Hurricane Fran, I have had an estimated 27 different home-insurance companies.
This week, I'm covered by the Bob and Big Stan Insurance Company, under a policy which states that, in addition to my premium, Bob and Big Stan are entitled, on demand, to my kidneys.
SHUTTERS: Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the doors, and -- if it's a major hurricane -- all the toilets.
There are several types of shutters, with advantages and disadvantages:
Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them yourself, they're cheap.
The disadvantage is that, because you make them yourself, they will fall off.
Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once you get them all up.
The disadvantage is that once you get them all up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be December.
Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to use, and will definitely protect your house.
The disadvantage is that you will have to sell your house to pay for them.
'Hurricane-proof'' windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says so.
He lives in Illinois.
'Hurricane Proofing Your Property: As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc.; you should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool (if you don't have a swimming pool, you should have one built immediately).
Otherwise, the hurricane winds will turn these objects into deadly missiles.
EVACUATION ROUTE: If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route planned out.
(To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look at your driver's license; if it says ‘North Carolina', you live in a low-lying area. ) The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid being trapped in your home when a major storm hits.
Instead, you will be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home, along with two hundred thousand other evacuees.
So, as a bonus, you will not be lonely.
HURRICANE SUPPLIES: If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies.
Do not buy them now! North Carolina tradition requires that you wait until the last possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM and/or POTTED MEAT.
In addition to food and water, you will need the following supplies:
23 flashlights.
At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes out, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.
Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what the bleach is for. But it's traditional, so GET some!)
A 55-gallon drum of underarm deodorant.
A big knife that you can strap to your leg.
(This will be useless in a hurricane, but it looks cool.)
A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators.
(Ask anybody who went through Fran; after the hurricane, there WILL be irate alligators.
$35,000.20 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.
Of course these are just basic precautions.
As the hurricane draws near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.
Good luck and remember: It's great living in paradise! Those of you who aren't here yet, you should come.
This is incredible, guys....made me cry, it's so sweet!
---------- I'll bet you've never seen a pet like the one in this Video of the Day. In 1969, two friends, John Rendall and Ace Berg, purchased a lion. At the time, Christian the lion was a 35-pound cub. He had been born in a zoo. The friends raised Christian in their London home. All three hung out in a friend's furniture shop on the weekends.
Within a year, Christian had grown to 185 lbs. Rendall and Berg realized they couldn't keep him much longer. But they didn't know what to do with him. A chance encounter changed that. Two actors from the film Born Free walked into the furniture store.
The actors recommended a conservationist, George Adamson, living in Kenya. Christian was soon in Africa. There he was rehabilitated and released into the wild.
In 1974, Rendall and Berg decided to visit Christian one last time. He was now a wild animal. Adamson told them it was doubtful that Christian could be found. No one had seen him in nine months.
The two flew to Kenya, anyway. On the day they landed, Christian appeared outside Adamson's camp. Somehow, he knew. He waited outside the camp until Rendall and Berg arrived.
This video was taken during their reunion with Christian.
