I just got home from work and left one light on in my house so  that Joanie and Diablo could find their water dishes and I left the TV blaring away on the channel I last watched. That would be CNN.

When I got off of work - this is what I heard on CNN:

Wolf Blitzer: Welcome back to CNN Election Headquarters, where we are just beginning to hear the results from West Virginia. Based on exit polling, we can report that Barack Obama has so far received 100 percent of the vote, receiving one vote, while Hillary Clinton has received zero votes. As impressive as that margin is, we caution you that it's still too early to declare Sen. Obama the winner in West Virginia. However, we can tell you that the person who cast his ballot for Obama has told us that his cousin also probably voted for Obama. John King, what would that mean?

John King, CNN Chief Political Correspondent: Wolf, it would mean two votes for Barack Obama and still zero for Hillary Clinton.

Wolf Blitzer: Thank you, John. To see what John just said in graphic form, log on to www.cnn.com. Let's go now to CNN Senior Political Correspondent Candy Crowley, who is at the Clinton headquarters in Charleston, West Virginia.. Candy, what are you hearing from the Clinton campaign?

Candy Crowley: Wolf, the people I'm talking to in the Clinton campaign are very upbeat, very optimistic, plenty of smiles, lots of laughter. Ms. Clinton showed up at the Charleston GMF in a Postal-blue pantsuit to capture more votes but we cannot tell if this will sway the election. Back to you, Wolf.

Wolf Blitzer: Thank you, Candy. We'll check back in with you a little later to ask you the same thing and have you give us the same answer. We need to kill some time while our viewers are waiting for donuts and coffee in The Situation Room. Meanwhile, CNN now is projecting Sen. Obama to be the winner in West Virginia. Unfortunately, for Obama, CNN also has learned that West Virginia has voted to secede from the U.S.

And in the Republican race, CNN now is projecting John McCain to be the winner in the West Virginia primary tonight because is has no challengers meaning he has won the Republican ... hold on, we have some breaking news......moments ago in Sweden, every living Nobel Prize-winning scientist gathered to unanimously declare that evolution is a sham and that the Earth was in fact created in six days by an "Intelligent Designer.". Ooh, too little, too late for Mike Huckabee. Too bad! Now the Republicans have to vote for a Republican who is really is Democrat.......

Let's now bring in CNN Internet reporter Abbi Tatton to update us on what's going on over at cnn.com.  in The Situation Room.

Abbi Tatton: Thank you, Wolf. At cnn.com, we basically have the same information you're presenting on air, but the advantage for visitors to PostalProfiles.com is that they don't have to listen to or look at your ugly Jewish mug

Wolf Blitzer: Some of my best friends are Jewish but thank you, Abbi. Here's hoping someone clicks on a banner ad this month at cnn.com so you're not laid off. OK, back to West Virginia where, CNN has learned, Hillary Clinton has jumped out to an early lead, with 23 votes to Barack Obama's 14 votes. Bear in mind, however, that tally does not include anybody who's not currently at the Wheeling W.V. Hooters where former prez. Bill Clinton is giving his "oral speech."

Candy Crowley: Wolf, the mood here has turned grim, as everyone is coming to the realization that Hillary that she same exit strategy as George W. - "stay the @#$!! course"

Wolf Blitzer: Candy, hold that thought. CNN is now projecting that all of our viewers are grabbng their remotes and are now watching American Idol.

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