It is a good thing that I am a postal clerk and not a pharmaceutical company executive. I think I would just have too much fun at the public's expense. There are so many new diseases and syndromes that have popped up since I was a kid. The photoshopped picture above is easier to read if you click the picture and it will automatically send you to the photo page - and click "view larger image" and then click again in the bottom right hand corner of the pic.  I just couldn't edit this one properly today.

One of the most interesting to me is this "restless leg syndrome." I'll bet the guy that invented Mirapax could barely keep a straight face as he presented this crazy pill, whose concept would be swallowed hook, line, and sinker by hypochondriacs, all too eager to also swallow the expensive, bitter tasting placebos used to cure this non-disease.

I have also noticed that the diseases of bulimea and anorexia don't exist in anywhere in Africa, Asia or in Latin and South America but, somehow, it exists in countries that have many Country Buffets and Waffle Houses. According to the TV ads, Abilfily will not only cure your anorexia but it will control your bi-polar disorder as well. Believe me ladies, we men don't want you to emulate those skanky Hollywood hos. You don't have to look like a model from Vogue or a Desperate Housewife.

Another "disease" that didn't exist when I was a kid was "Attention Defecit Disorder." I was an overactive spoiled little brat who used to pester my mom while she was watching her soaps on TV. Boys will be boys. Luckily, they didn't have Ritalin around when I was growing up. I would have ended up as a buzzed-out kid talking to hand puppets in my bedroom.

There are also different "anxiety disorders" and, of course, "obsessive compulsive disorder" that have sparked a large variety of pills to make the pharma executives rich.

I suppose it is a good thing that I am not a pharma executive, the temptation would be too great. I would create pills for those supervisors that suffer from "selective deafness disorder" and I would market phony diet pills for those fat useless slugs in the craft that are too lazy to do any physical work. Yes, I should leave it up to the selfish PhDs obsessed with ADD, RLS, OCS and $$$$$$$!!

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I must warn you that reading this blog might cause headaches, nausea,  sexual dysfunction, high blood pressure, low gas mileage, yellow fever, and Red Skelton.