If 2008 was supposed to be The Year of the Rat, it looks like 2009 will be The Year of the Fruitcake for me. In November, I left the Rats from the Postal Service (along with my good co-workers too) to venture off on my own. After only six weeks, it is still too early to know if I made the right decisions or not - but for now it feels good.

Last year, I celebrated New Years Eve in downtown Denver in a rowdy night club on the 16th Street Mall. The owners apparently wanted to give the club a Times Square atmosphere by having all us groped, pinched and pick-pocketed and the  champagne had the aftertaste of apple juice and Alka Seltzer. Of course, heavy partying and New Year's never mixes well. Just take a look at Beth's cat wearing a fruit helmet. Um....too much champagne and catnip perhaps? The ending of the celebration was complete with fireworks and a lighted ball that dropped after the countdown.

If I really wanted to watch a ball drop - I would watch a Denver Broncos game. Those were some disappointing last 3 games to see. But this year, I simply stayed at home with my dogs and watched D|ck Clark's Rockin' New Years Eve.

Ever since I can remember, D|ck Clark has always been on TV on New Years' Eve. Even after a massive stoke about four years ago, D|ck Clark has managed to have enough intestinal fortitude to press on with his dreams. Although his speech is still slow, he is still articulate and has enough compassion to give his sweetheart, Carrie, a New Years kiss. I still think of D|ck Clark as Mr. New Years Eve - not Ryan Seacrest.

Speaking of people named Carrie. SHE'S BACK!! Welcome back to our small family on here, Carrie. You left while I took a small hiatus from this site. I knew Carrie had a page on MySpace and I actually went over there to leave her a comment. The problem was, you have to sign up and have a MySpace page to leave a comment. While I was on MySpace, I realized that I am slowly turning into my father. When I was growing up, my dad would yell, "Mark! Turn down that effing stereo! Everyone in New Orleans doesn't want to listen to your music!"

That is one of the reasons I prefer Postal Profiles over MySpace. Sure, a few people have music playing - but they have good taste in songs played. I went to visit a different MySpace page, and suddenly; my speakers were blaring with the song - "My Achy Breaky Heart." After prying my fingers off of the ceiling, I quickly hit the "mute" button to kill the sounds of that wretched filth.

As I am writing the blog, I caught someone's flu bug going around town here. I rarely get colds or fevers, but when I do - the symptoms seem different from the last snork fest that I had. This morning, I went to my medicine cabinet to find out that all of my drugs have expired. But this also made me think - do drugs really expire? Do they turn into poison or are they just less effective?

Drugs have a long list of horrible side effects such as death and four-hour erections. And that's what happens before they expire! But last night, I was very congested and went to my medicine cabinet to find a bottle of Actifed Cough Syrup (expired: November 2008.) Should I risk my own life and drink the cough syrup? With anything in life, I decided to take a chance.

While laying in my bed, listening to a Skeptics of the Universe podcast - I was waiting for the end to come soon. But, suddenly, aahhhh......I was breathing normal again! I woke up feeling fine to open up my shop this morning.

To let you know, I didn't just ingest that cough syrup for me! Oh no....I did it for all of you on Postal Profiles with much pride - and with phlegm. You can all rest assured that in these tough economic times, you don't need to throw your money down the drain on "fresh" cough syrup. The expired stuff works just as well as long as you spit out those crusty little chunks. If you can work with postal equipment that is 40 years out of date - surely, two month old expired cough syrup is just as safe. Me thinks the pharmecutical companies have a wonderful scam going on with these expired medications.

I mean, really, wasn't the wonder drug "pencillin" discovered in a stinky, moldy petri dish?