I am getting ready to use some of bid annual to visit my parents in New Orleans and along the way I will make a side trip to Gulfport , Miss. to meet some other relatives before returning back to Colorado.
It is interesting to grow up in a city with so many nicknames. There is "The Big Easy" which is an old school name for the city being known as one giant speak-easy during the Prohibition days, "The Crescent City" which refers to the way the Mississippi River snakes through town. There is "K-Town" which is short for Katrina town. Keisha, on this site, has "NOLA" under her name - the abbreviation they have on the school buses and police cars in town. And there is "N'Awlins" which is only used by white people up north trying to fit in as tourists during Mardi Gras. But my favorite is "The City That Care Forgot." because it has two meanings now.
Originally, "The City That Care Forgot" was a short story written by Mark Twain about the laid-back carefree attitude of the people in New Orleans. Now, the quote is used about the FEMA blunders and the shenanigans of Mayor Ray Nagin. The city was in disarray before Katrina. And, according to yesterday's New Orleans newspaper it says "that FEMA gave away $85 million in household goods to government agencies, including the Postal Service, after they sat for two years in a FEMA warehouse." Here's the link to that story: http://www.neworleanscitybusiness.com/UpToTheMinute.cfm?recID=18404. According to the story, the Postal Service was clueless about where these supplies came from but they are now willing to return them. Any sentence begining with the phrase 'the Postal Service was clueless' - says it all.
But enough about gonzo politics, I am looking forward to seeing my parents and a couple of old childhood friends. There is a lot for me to catch up on back home.
I won't miss the ringleader, the crazy animals and the goofy clowns of the U.S. Postal Circus with its amazing antics going on non-stop in all three rings, I will be relaxing with my family and friends in The City That Care Forgot.
I wanted to wish everyone on this site a Happy Independence Day. I will be spending my July 4th in, of all places, Cheyenne, Wyoming at the Cheyenne Civic Center. You would not believe the grapevine amongst single postal workers. On July 4th, Radiohead and Duffy are playing in Cheyenne Wyoming but NOT Denver. We are all confused, because I am sure they have more fans in a city with over a half of a million like Denver than Cheyenne. I am holding in my posession at the moment, two Bill Engvall tickets for July 26th at the same arena in Cheyenne. Bill Engvall I can understand, but Radiohead and Duffy? Hmmmmm........
Anyhow, about 75 of us misfit postal people from the surrounding Denver area will be converging on Cheyenne tomorrow and we plan on a picnic in Lion's Park in the Goat Roper State. Because what is more traditional than a picnic on the Fourth of July? Americans since our Founding Fathers - Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John McCain and Tony Bennett - have been doing this for a long time. Over 200 hundred years, these same hearty souls hunkered down over a barbecue grill and invented the traditional picnic of hot dogs charred into cylinders of industrial grade carbon and hamburgers so undercooked that they jump off of the grill and chase the squirrels in the park.
July the 4th is the season of picnics, hot dogs, apple pie and baseball. I mention baseball for more reasons than one. Because I live 25 miles from Denver - I am a Colorado Rockies fan. There is a Rockies player than was injured while trying to steal a base during a game about 5 weeks ago. One of their most promising players Troy Tulowitzki was placed on DL with a torn left calf muscle. The Rockies have gone from first in the NL West to the worst.
I am sure you asking yourself what this has to do with July 4th or this site? I was reading Tom's blog and the other newer blogs before I logged on here. There have been banners lining Coors Field in Denver reading, "We Miss You Tulo!!" , "Get Well Soon Troy!" and "We Need You Back on the Team, Tulo!"
As the Rockies trainers know, you cannot fake a torn calf muscle. Troy told his trainers that he heard an audible "pop!" From the footage shown on our local NBC affliate, KCNC-TV, Troy's calf area had completely swollen from his knee to his ankles and had severe bruising in that area. You cannot fake an injury like this!
So if this were to happen to one of us as a postal worker, what do you think the reaction would be by the autocrats of postal management? Our management would not back us like the Rockies have backed Troy Tulowitzki. Because a lot of postal management looks for the easy way out and thinks in a lawless way - so, naturally, they assume that we think in the same manner.
Evil and greed is easily obtainable but goodness is eternally difficult.
Not only does that simple sentence apply to Tom's situation but to our real founding fathers as well. Our founding fathers left England and other parts of Europe to found a country where We The People had a chance for freedom.
We live in a country free from tyranny based on ideas from republic and religious ideas and we are free to comply or to choose and rebel against them.
I am praying for the best for Tom. I am sure you would love to have the summer away from the Postal Service - but not like this. We are all thankful that you created a forum so that the rest of us normally unknown postal folks could message and blog each other. To the management at whatever Dallas branch Tom works at I say, "Fruit You!"
What???
I am censoring myself.
Like some of those censored movies I see on regular TV, instead of "F--- You" they say "Fruit You!" and instead of "Motherf----r" they say "Muffinfluffer!" Not only does does that sound silly to me - it makes me hungry at the same time!
It is a good thing that I am a postal clerk and not a pharmaceutical company executive. I think I would just have too much fun at the public's expense. There are so many new diseases and syndromes that have popped up since I was a kid. The photoshopped picture above is easier to read if you click the picture and it will automatically send you to the photo page - and click "view larger image" and then click again in the bottom right hand corner of the pic. I just couldn't edit this one properly today.
One of the most interesting to me is this "restless leg syndrome." I'll bet the guy that invented Mirapax could barely keep a straight face as he presented this crazy pill, whose concept would be swallowed hook, line, and sinker by hypochondriacs, all too eager to also swallow the expensive, bitter tasting placebos used to cure this non-disease.
I have also noticed that the diseases of bulimea and anorexia don't exist in anywhere in Africa, Asia or in Latin and South America but, somehow, it exists in countries that have many Country Buffets and Waffle Houses. According to the TV ads, Abilfily will not only cure your anorexia but it will control your bi-polar disorder as well. Believe me ladies, we men don't want you to emulate those skanky Hollywood hos. You don't have to look like a model from Vogue or a Desperate Housewife.
Another "disease" that didn't exist when I was a kid was "Attention Defecit Disorder." I was an overactive spoiled little brat who used to pester my mom while she was watching her soaps on TV. Boys will be boys. Luckily, they didn't have Ritalin around when I was growing up. I would have ended up as a buzzed-out kid talking to hand puppets in my bedroom.
There are also different "anxiety disorders" and, of course, "obsessive compulsive disorder" that have sparked a large variety of pills to make the pharma executives rich.
I suppose it is a good thing that I am not a pharma executive, the temptation would be too great. I would create pills for those supervisors that suffer from "selective deafness disorder" and I would market phony diet pills for those fat useless slugs in the craft that are too lazy to do any physical work. Yes, I should leave it up to the selfish PhDs obsessed with ADD, RLS, OCS and $$$$$$$!!
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I must warn you that reading this blog might cause headaches, nausea, sexual dysfunction, high blood pressure, low gas mileage, yellow fever, and Red Skelton.
You just know it is going to be a rough day shortly after you wake up and stupid things happen. The doggie door on my back door somehow got stuck open when Joanie and Diablo went outside in the middle of the night and I had flies in my house. Before I left for work, I swatted three male flies and two female flies.
Now I am sure, you asking yourself - how did I know that they were male and female flies.......three flies were on a beer can and the other two were on the phone.
Today, it was simply one of those mornings where I forgot where I placed my car keys and when I found them and drove off to work quickly later realizing that I forgot a co-worker's Step Two grievance paperwork so I had to drive back home, and by the time I got to work, I was was ten minutes late with the the first truck waiting outside. Part of my job is to unlock the gate, turn off the alarm system and unload the first truck.
Basically after that, my day went downhill.....
Luckily, I am back home and away from work and tomorrow will be a better day. When I got on here I noticed that my wedding cake pics did not post - so I reposted them today. Also, I am afraid my last two messages did not get sent - but I am not certain of that. I wrote to Carrie and John and, well, I think I had a 'puter problem when I wrote my last blog. My Norton Security says everything is fine on this end. I have been thinking about what the problem is?
Could it possibly one of our newer bloggers - Guy Nohrenberg? Does he REALLY know me? If this is true, Guy has got the goods on me! He told me that he worked in Colorado! I remember all of my past supervisor's names - except for a "one-month wonder" nicknamed "Droopy Drawers." I really don't remember Droopy Drawer's real name but he was WAY older than Guy! Droopy Drawers never owned a belt and badly needed one - I know they aren't the same people. I don't know who Tony Plante is, but I know Theresa Panos is the DPS Coordinator in Denver. Hmmmm......
I hope Guy didn't hear about the time last April when I stuck a Post-It note underneath the station manager's computer mouse with the words "April's Fool" written on it.
Perhaps it was from eight years ago, when my rural carrier bud and I bought some pants and shoes from the Goodwill store. We stuff the pants with NOVM and stapled on the shoes. We had them placed in all the bathroom stalls in a "sitting" position and locked all of the stalls after we crawled out. The tape recorder behind one of the stalls had the appropriate sound effects. Perhaps, Guy found out it was us - and we never knew........or it could just simply be a computer glitch on my end and I am all paranoid now :)
I am utilizing the rest of blog to answer some questions in case my messages don't go through again. Spauldo wanted to know about making an Amaretto Mousse Cake
If she is like me, recipes are a "guideline", so you may substitute whatever you wish:
Amaretto Mousse Cake
2 envelopes of unflavored gelatin 1/4 c water 4 egg yolks, slightly beatened 1/3 c sugar 2 c heavy cream Additional whipping cream for topping 1/2 cup Amaretto 1 c heavy whipping cream 4 egg whites, stifly beatened 3 pkg lady fingers
Line bottom and sides of 12 inch spring form pan w/ lady fingers. , combine gelatin, water, egg yolks, sugar, and 2 cups heavy cream. Bring this mixture to a light boil. Remove from heat and add liqueur. Put it into the fridge for 30 mins. Fold 4 beaten egg whites and the remaining whipped cream. Pour into prepared pan and allow to set for 4 hours. To serve, remove from pan, cover top w/ whipped cream . (Add sliced almonds - optional.)
My message to Carrie was one that I think didn't go through on Tuesday, but I'm not completely sure. I was reading her comment about popping out of one of my cakes! OMG!!!! I would have a snappy comeback but it is very difficult to type one-handed!! That would be the most fun I have ever had cake-decorating EVER!! Um.......perhaps John from SW Kansas could help me out with this one.....you have seen his pics people, he does good work. The guy is already on page one of the "most viewed pics" this month.
My day started off on the wrong foot, but I feel much better now after writing this blog. Sometimes blogs can be theraputic.
I find myself wondering at times if the Post Office is an optical illusion or a hallucination. There is a difference between an optical illusion and a hallucination. An opticial illusion is a real image that is made up different size angles and objects or varying color patterns used to trick the light and dark reactors in our retina. The retina can only obtain so much information at once, so the receptors and literally battling amongst themselves. Linear measurements are technically optical illusions. You have a flat tub containing eight Brides magazines and another with 288 one page Comcast fliers. Both measure as 12 inches of mail but it should take the same amount of time case because it is 12 inches of mail. Right? :)
A hallucination is a false image that occurs when the brain is in an abnormal state, such as from lack of sleep, taking drugs, mental illness or eating Armour Pork Brains with Milk Gravy (I actually saw this product in the canned meat aisle - I'm not going to try it.) I am sure some of you have seen optical illusions at the P.O. or have wondered if some your co-workers have been hallucinating.
A fun thing to do at work is to send your supervisor a postcard with a picture of the planet Earth on the outside. On the back you can write, "All of us clerks and carriers are having a wonderful time. Wish you were here...."
But enough about that, the original reason I started this blog was because of someone else on here who recently posted some pics of his wedding cakes. It is a very rare combination to find someone else who makes wedding cakes AND works for the Postal Service. If you haven't seen the pics yet, his name is "John from SW Kansas." He does very good work! I don't think I will breaking John's confidence when I say that we have exchanged a few messages and John has visited the Denver area several times and mentions a lot of familiar places in his messages. It is just nice to talk to someone who knows that a "firm ball stage" and a "soft ball stage" has nothing to do with Viagra and that "figure piping" isn't plastic surgery.
I have not been online for a few days and it actually has to do with making wedding cakes. Valentine's Day week and the month of June are the busiest times for me. And, yes, John they have big weddings in Colorado too. I will post a couple of pics later today.
I heard a story about a male and female clown that got married and both the groom's and bride's relatives and friends all arrived at the church piled in the same car.
But, of course, that too could have been a hallucination.
