It is a good thing that I am a postal clerk and not a pharmaceutical company executive. I think I would just have too much fun at the public's expense. There are so many new diseases and syndromes that have popped up since I was a kid. The photoshopped picture above is easier to read if you click the picture and it will automatically send you to the photo page - and click "view larger image" and then click again in the bottom right hand corner of the pic. I just couldn't edit this one properly today.
One of the most interesting to me is this "restless leg syndrome." I'll bet the guy that invented Mirapax could barely keep a straight face as he presented this crazy pill, whose concept would be swallowed hook, line, and sinker by hypochondriacs, all too eager to also swallow the expensive, bitter tasting placebos used to cure this non-disease.
I have also noticed that the diseases of bulimea and anorexia don't exist in anywhere in Africa, Asia or in Latin and South America but, somehow, it exists in countries that have many Country Buffets and Waffle Houses. According to the TV ads, Abilfily will not only cure your anorexia but it will control your bi-polar disorder as well. Believe me ladies, we men don't want you to emulate those skanky Hollywood hos. You don't have to look like a model from Vogue or a Desperate Housewife.
Another "disease" that didn't exist when I was a kid was "Attention Defecit Disorder." I was an overactive spoiled little brat who used to pester my mom while she was watching her soaps on TV. Boys will be boys. Luckily, they didn't have Ritalin around when I was growing up. I would have ended up as a buzzed-out kid talking to hand puppets in my bedroom.
There are also different "anxiety disorders" and, of course, "obsessive compulsive disorder" that have sparked a large variety of pills to make the pharma executives rich.
I suppose it is a good thing that I am not a pharma executive, the temptation would be too great. I would create pills for those supervisors that suffer from "selective deafness disorder" and I would market phony diet pills for those fat useless slugs in the craft that are too lazy to do any physical work. Yes, I should leave it up to the selfish PhDs obsessed with ADD, RLS, OCS and $$$$$$$!!
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I must warn you that reading this blog might cause headaches, nausea, sexual dysfunction, high blood pressure, low gas mileage, yellow fever, and Red Skelton.
You just know it is going to be a rough day shortly after you wake up and stupid things happen. The doggie door on my back door somehow got stuck open when Joanie and Diablo went outside in the middle of the night and I had flies in my house. Before I left for work, I swatted three male flies and two female flies.
Now I am sure, you asking yourself - how did I know that they were male and female flies.......three flies were on a beer can and the other two were on the phone.
Today, it was simply one of those mornings where I forgot where I placed my car keys and when I found them and drove off to work quickly later realizing that I forgot a co-worker's Step Two grievance paperwork so I had to drive back home, and by the time I got to work, I was was ten minutes late with the the first truck waiting outside. Part of my job is to unlock the gate, turn off the alarm system and unload the first truck.
Basically after that, my day went downhill.....
Luckily, I am back home and away from work and tomorrow will be a better day. When I got on here I noticed that my wedding cake pics did not post - so I reposted them today. Also, I am afraid my last two messages did not get sent - but I am not certain of that. I wrote to Carrie and John and, well, I think I had a 'puter problem when I wrote my last blog. My Norton Security says everything is fine on this end. I have been thinking about what the problem is?
Could it possibly one of our newer bloggers - Guy Nohrenberg? Does he REALLY know me? If this is true, Guy has got the goods on me! He told me that he worked in Colorado! I remember all of my past supervisor's names - except for a "one-month wonder" nicknamed "Droopy Drawers." I really don't remember Droopy Drawer's real name but he was WAY older than Guy! Droopy Drawers never owned a belt and badly needed one - I know they aren't the same people. I don't know who Tony Plante is, but I know Theresa Panos is the DPS Coordinator in Denver. Hmmmm......
I hope Guy didn't hear about the time last April when I stuck a Post-It note underneath the station manager's computer mouse with the words "April's Fool" written on it.
Perhaps it was from eight years ago, when my rural carrier bud and I bought some pants and shoes from the Goodwill store. We stuff the pants with NOVM and stapled on the shoes. We had them placed in all the bathroom stalls in a "sitting" position and locked all of the stalls after we crawled out. The tape recorder behind one of the stalls had the appropriate sound effects. Perhaps, Guy found out it was us - and we never knew........or it could just simply be a computer glitch on my end and I am all paranoid now :)
I am utilizing the rest of blog to answer some questions in case my messages don't go through again. Spauldo wanted to know about making an Amaretto Mousse Cake
If she is like me, recipes are a "guideline", so you may substitute whatever you wish:
Amaretto Mousse Cake
2 envelopes of unflavored gelatin 1/4 c water 4 egg yolks, slightly beatened 1/3 c sugar 2 c heavy cream Additional whipping cream for topping 1/2 cup Amaretto 1 c heavy whipping cream 4 egg whites, stifly beatened 3 pkg lady fingers
Line bottom and sides of 12 inch spring form pan w/ lady fingers. , combine gelatin, water, egg yolks, sugar, and 2 cups heavy cream. Bring this mixture to a light boil. Remove from heat and add liqueur. Put it into the fridge for 30 mins. Fold 4 beaten egg whites and the remaining whipped cream. Pour into prepared pan and allow to set for 4 hours. To serve, remove from pan, cover top w/ whipped cream . (Add sliced almonds - optional.)
My message to Carrie was one that I think didn't go through on Tuesday, but I'm not completely sure. I was reading her comment about popping out of one of my cakes! OMG!!!! I would have a snappy comeback but it is very difficult to type one-handed!! That would be the most fun I have ever had cake-decorating EVER!! Um.......perhaps John from SW Kansas could help me out with this one.....you have seen his pics people, he does good work. The guy is already on page one of the "most viewed pics" this month.
My day started off on the wrong foot, but I feel much better now after writing this blog. Sometimes blogs can be theraputic.
I find myself wondering at times if the Post Office is an optical illusion or a hallucination. There is a difference between an optical illusion and a hallucination. An opticial illusion is a real image that is made up different size angles and objects or varying color patterns used to trick the light and dark reactors in our retina. The retina can only obtain so much information at once, so the receptors and literally battling amongst themselves. Linear measurements are technically optical illusions. You have a flat tub containing eight Brides magazines and another with 288 one page Comcast fliers. Both measure as 12 inches of mail but it should take the same amount of time case because it is 12 inches of mail. Right? :)
A hallucination is a false image that occurs when the brain is in an abnormal state, such as from lack of sleep, taking drugs, mental illness or eating Armour Pork Brains with Milk Gravy (I actually saw this product in the canned meat aisle - I'm not going to try it.) I am sure some of you have seen optical illusions at the P.O. or have wondered if some your co-workers have been hallucinating.
A fun thing to do at work is to send your supervisor a postcard with a picture of the planet Earth on the outside. On the back you can write, "All of us clerks and carriers are having a wonderful time. Wish you were here...."
But enough about that, the original reason I started this blog was because of someone else on here who recently posted some pics of his wedding cakes. It is a very rare combination to find someone else who makes wedding cakes AND works for the Postal Service. If you haven't seen the pics yet, his name is "John from SW Kansas." He does very good work! I don't think I will breaking John's confidence when I say that we have exchanged a few messages and John has visited the Denver area several times and mentions a lot of familiar places in his messages. It is just nice to talk to someone who knows that a "firm ball stage" and a "soft ball stage" has nothing to do with Viagra and that "figure piping" isn't plastic surgery.
I have not been online for a few days and it actually has to do with making wedding cakes. Valentine's Day week and the month of June are the busiest times for me. And, yes, John they have big weddings in Colorado too. I will post a couple of pics later today.
I heard a story about a male and female clown that got married and both the groom's and bride's relatives and friends all arrived at the church piled in the same car.
But, of course, that too could have been a hallucination.
The title of my blog is the title of a flier that I received with my pay stub last Friday. Being of an artistic sort, the color scheme of the flier is absolutely hideous - yellow ochre, pink and olive green.
The flier begins with the following message: "Respecting and valuing people's differences starts with celebrating those differences, valuing each others' work and roles, promoting a climate that's fair, supportive and responsive, as well as creating a welcoming environment through our words and actions, and encouraging open and honest communication. Postal management is open and welcome to embrace your ideas to improve the workplace with open arms."
After reading the entire contents of this flier, I noticed that this color scheme had two meanings. After reading the last sentence of the opening paragraph - "Postal management is open and welcome to embrace your ideas to improve the workplace with open arms." - I lost my oatmeal, and my "spew" had the same color scheme. Also, I now wonder if the color scheme was intentionally used to paralyze the viewer's brain, thereby keeping them from noticing that:
1.) There is no mention of any of our postal Unions, so the flier directs employees who "have questions or concerns about how they are being treated" to immediately contact postal management or Human resources.
2.) The flier directs postal employees to contact a postal EEO counselor if "the treatment involves illegal behavior." There is no mention of the Inspectors or the OIG.
An employee with a legitimate grievance bringing a question or concern to a supervisor or Human Resources without going to the Union or filing a Step 1 would be gambling on their 14 days window of opportunity of a true violation. Because the flier doesn't mention contacting your union concerning employee's rights under Article 15, why would the postal management or Human Resources office be any different?
In the real Postal world, utilizing an EEO counselor is a useless avenue for employees who are not minorities or veterans and their legitimate complaints will die from a pre-mature death because they used the wrong forum.
I was reading an old e-mail that I got from a former Postal worker in the 1950's - the late Rodney Dangerfield. What an eye-opener this was :)
"Yeah, Mark, I tell ya I get no respect - no respect at all! That's why I felt welcome working for the Postal Service. For the first two hours, my supervisor followed me around with a pooper-scooper. But, OMG, my supervisor is so ugly, she is so ugly they used her at the prisons to cure sex offenders. Yeah, yeah, one night I told the cab driver to take me where the action was - he dropped me off at my postmaster's house! I called my doctor, you know, Doctor Vinny Boombatz, I told him that my supervisor is driving me insane - I think I want to commit suicide - he put me on hold! He gave me a referral to a proctologist who stuck his finger in my mouth!"
Ba-da-bing!!
Basically, I see this flier as another arrogant punchline for another sick Labor Relations joke on the working men and women of the Postal Service. One of basic tenets to being an effective supervisor is to lead by example. Respect and dignity is love in plain clothes.
Never take away someone's respect or dignity. It means everything to them and absolutely nothing to you.
