How about them apples?  I was gonna go by the health dept. this morning to get tested and someone there recommended that I go over to Birthright to get it done today.  I went, they tested, and it came back positive.  The odds of this are probably astronomical...but then, that's been my life thus far.  Astronomical odds with everything BUT the lottery.  If somebody's gonna walk out into a storm and get struck by lightning...it's gonna be me.

Gonna set up a doctors appt. probably tomorrow and keep my fingers crossed that it's not ectopic.  Wish me luck.

Took a 2nd test this morning....same results as yesterday.  I did find out, however, that an ovarian cyst can cause a false reading on a pregnancy test.  I have a pretty large one, so that could be the cause.  I also used a First Response test which may be more sensitive to the cyst? 

At least today I'm not walking around like a total zombie.  I'll just have to deal with whatever comes my way.  I appreciate the comments and support from everyone. 

I've worked so hard to get and hold onto this RCA gig.  It seems like at the moment, every natural force in the world is going against me.  First the mail count...now this.  I knew the count was gonna be bad, so I went and got a part time gig at Wal-Mart (of all places).  I never in a million years thought I'd be working there...not that there's anything wrong with it.  Just wasn't ever on my radar.  Actually I've met a wide variety of people there so far, from the "salt of the earth" type to the scum of the earth and everybody inbetween.  You have to run into a few weeds to find the flowers though, right?

I know I'm probably getting ahead of myself here but I was wondering.  If I were to be pregnant, how would that work being an RCA?  Since I'm only working every Saturday (and after 4/24, possibly every other Saturday) would I be eligible to take FMLA just for those days that I'm scheduled?  I know you get 3 months of FMLA....but is it 3 months consecutive or 3 months of work days?  (Does that make any sense?) 

I don't quite know how to begin this blog.  I'm currently in a state of utter and absolute shock and disbelief.  I can't even believe I'm blogging about this, but I have no idea what else to do at the moment.  Watching Ellen or Maury right now just doesn't seem to cut it.

About 30 minutes ago, I took a pregnancy test and I'm pretty sure it said that I'm pregnant.  Now see, I seem to remember people on television and in the movies being so happy after taking such a test and getting the same results.  I, on the other hand, am in total shock.  I'm 37 and in a somewhat precarious living situation and have absolutely no business being pregnant....and yet, I think I am.  I do not even have health insurance at the moment.  It was just one of those things I thought I would get around to soon enough.  Well TOO LATE NOW huh?

Life is crazy isn't it.  When I was 24, all I wanted in the whole world was to have a baby.  Back then, I would have given my right arm in order to be pregnant.  I went through a whole deal about having stage 4 endometriosis and having several doctors and fertility specialists tell me I had less than a 10% chance of ever having a baby.  I went through a bout of depression followed by an unparralled determination to adopt a baby despite the low odds of that happening, or so I was told.  I ended up being a foster mother to my now son and got him when he was 3 weeks old.  He's now 8.  Then I was quite surprised to learn that I was 3 months pregnant with my other son, now 4 1/2.  The look on my doctor's face when he performed the ultra-sound, was unforgettable.  And now, after I had finally come to the realization that I'm too old to have children and being settled in the fact of having two boys, I thought my family was complete.

The problem is, now I'm worried I may have an eptopic pregnancy, since I was also told I was at a greater risk for such a thing. 

I'll blog more once I come out of this shock........

Recently I'm rethinking the whole RCA bit.  I have 2 kids that depend on me and I just don't know that I can spend a mysterious number of years waiting to get any hours or to get my own route. 

I kept hearing everyone say, "Just get your foot in the door".  Well now that my foot's in the door, now what?!?  I've all but dismissed the ingenious idea of flipping to the city side.  Anybody know anything about working retail or being a clerk?  What's the pay start out at?  Aren't there exams they give especially for people who already work in the postal service?  If so, where can I find out about those??  Is it a total nightmare or what? 

This past mail count REALLY turned me off to the whole carrier deal to be honest with you.  I'm not beyond just getting paid for the work that I do.  Help!

Here's my "thing that makes me go hmmmm": (Feel free to share your own "THING")

Last saturday I'm working and I hear the clerks complaining about being short-handed and working 12 hour days, 6 days week.  My ears perked up.  Could this be the answer??  I could be a CLERK!!  Yeah!  Long hours...don't bother me.  What truly scares me is having NO hours. 

So I ask a friend of mine who I normally see working as both an RCA and a clerk.  I noticed that that particular day she was working as an RCA.  Since the clerks were so short handed I naturally asked why she was working as an RCA that day.  She tells me that someone filed a grievance and she can no longer do both.  ????  Wha?? 

I thought as I gained experience, I would figure things out more but it's been QUITE the opposite.  There's only MORE uncertainty and MORE questions!  ARGHH!